COVID-19 – Every little thing is gonna be alright, right?

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I struggled for days to decide how I would write this particular blog. So many things have unfolded in the last few weeks that it is mind-blowing, to say the least. I am an international student in my second year of doctoral studies in the US. To date, it has been a whirlwind sort of experience, battling the initial impostor syndrome and then eventually coming to rhythm with other aspects of my intersecting identities within this new space. To deal with the difficult transition of being away from family, I depended on my love of music to see me through. So in 2018, I listened to an album from Agent Sasco, an artiste back home, and it literally gave me life. In many ways, I felt connected to my people, my culture, my own indomitable spirit as a Jamaican to overcome challenges. Agent Sasco’s album in particular, as well as others, kept me sane. This may seem an exaggeration to some, but I cannot overstate the healing impact of music. 

My friends know me as the one to randomly burst into song during our conversations, because usually there is a song that is so apt for the situation at hand. As the challenges varied along this doctoral journey, I continued to use music to help me, inspire me, encourage me (cue the onions, folks!) and even kick my butt (my anthem for about a month!) It has worked every time. Then came COVID-19 - the first pandemic in my lifetime. However, in 1918, there was another pandemic, the Spanish flu, which lasted for almost two years and claimed about 20 million lives worldwide. A big challenge at the time was the unwillingness of some leaders to quarantine workers who were deemed essential in their countries’ war time efforts. Science was also not as developed as it is now, so epidemiologists were without the technology to combat the microscopic organisms responsible for this highly infectious virus that claimed the lives of the young, the old and those in between.

So, what does music have to do with this? Well, once again, I have retreated to music to give me some sense of hope and control during this rather tumultuous time. My university moved to online teaching two weeks ago for the rest of the semester. My children are home from school in Jamaica and I am not there with them to lend support or to create that space for them to talk about how they are feeling. Additionally, I am not there to give the hugs of reassurance, kisses of care, the embrace that is unique between parent and child. Admittedly, it breaks my heart every day when I think that we are apart and while I struggle to convince myself that every little thing will be alright, I try to shield my children from the emerging anxiety. The irony is that we are more connected as a society and for that very reason, countries have been moving quickly to close their borders in a desperate attempt to “flatten the curve” of the spread of COVID-19. Globalization has once again made us realize that through our connectivity, we are also similarly vulnerable. Each person is being urged to stay home as epidemiologists and other personnel in the medical field scramble to make sense of the virus, and ways in which to tackle it effectively, so that we, in the global community, can be alright. 

I fought extremely hard during the first week of uncertainty to stay focused and continue my daily routine as if nothing were amiss. I perhaps made it to midweek before the panic started to approach. As the message of social distancing increased, so did the uncertainty. I also had to practice it in my own house as I had a family member who had recently returned from overseas. Music came to mind once again, and I found myself relying on old favorites to bring me some sense of ‘normalcy’ (whatever that is now). I found myself participating in a thirty-day music challenge (let’s not talk about all the challenges that have emerged!) with a friend I have in Japan. It has been a great distraction for me but also an opportunity to share musical tastes daily. My husband, my Steady Love, has also been a massive part of how my musical tastes have evolved over the last several years and that causes me great joy! I made a deliberate attempt to avoid the news but realize how important it is to stay connected and informed – so now I curate my social media space very carefully. 

John Lennon wrote the iconic song Imagine in 1971 and I remain haunted by the words of the song which talks about humanity, focusing on the best parts of who we are, sharing love, peace and kindness rather than those elements that divide and separate. He articulates being labelled a dreamer for having those thoughts but confirms that, “I’m not the only one”. Subsequent to that, Leonard Cohen penned the song Hallelujah after multiple iterations (more than 50 versions!). The thrust of his song was acknowledging that even in the midst of the most trying circumstances, we are not broken; there is enough life in us to utter joy, bounce back, be resilient. As we are in the midst of this uncertainty, there are images of hope daily that remind us that we still have much to offer each other. As we practice social distancing in our individual parts of the globe, there is no longer the need to believe that we are alone in this fight against COVID-19 and I am certain there will be another song for generations to come that will highlight how we fought collectively to make the gains we did over a pandemic that threatened to stop us in our tracks. We are learning to tap more deeply and consistently into our creativity, reconnect with friends and family, to rediscover old passions long laid dormant in the busyness of life. So, I ask you, what music is keeping you balanced, stable and hopeful that every little thing is gonna be alright?

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Kadia Hylton-Fraser

Lehigh University